Saturday, May 29, 2010

No More of This Sideline Stuff

Okay, so there's been this battle going on in me. Basically, what lies at the heart of it is fear. I can't help but see all the people in my life that are "better than me." I have been lifting them up on a pedistal of sorts and wishing to live in their shadow and let them do all the work. Because after all, they're better at living for God. If I get in the game, I'll just mess it up. 
But there is this part of me that knows that's wrong. 

Honestly? I am sick of sitting on the sidelines. 
I want to be in the game; to get a little bit sweaty, to get my heart pumping a little bit. 
Why can't it be ME that is speaking Christ's name unashamedly at my work? 
Who's to say I can't initiate a Bible study with a willing fellow Christian? 
What is it that's stopping me from being utterly consumed with Love? 

"When did love become


When did love become


Forgetting what the world has told me

Father of love, you can have me.


Father, take away this fear from my life. Better yet, I ask that your Spirit in me would overcome this fear. Help me not to stand back and concede the game to those who I think can play better. It's only by your strength that I will be able to get over this preoccupation about not measuring up and instead fear only living half-heartedly for you. 
It's like tonight, when the group was over here and Jer was teaching us how to do flips on the trampoline. (I was so scared I was shaking!) I wanted to do it, but whenever my jumps would reach the right height and I would start into the flip, I would hesitate to pull in all the way. 
But I can't do the flip if I'm not absolutely COMMITTED. 
It's gotta be All-Out. 
And while I'm in midair it's a really scary, unnatural feeling with an uncertain end. 
But those are the ones that turn out the best in the end! 

For our God is a consuming fire.    Hebrews 12:29
Consume me Father. Especially while I'm working at camp.