Dreaming with my Eyes Wide Open

Dreams are funny things.

And I don't mean the dreams you have while you are asleep. I'm talking those times when you are dreaming with both eyes WIDE open. I guess you could substitute dreams for the word "desires". What really gets me, is that I have had some deep dreams (desires) over the course of my life that so many people view as only common things. That shows either that I dream only the small things, or that I hold a high appreciation for the small things. I like to think of it as the latter. {smiles}

Take for example, when I was working at Bob Evans restaurant as a hostess, every day I would watch the waitresses and think, "One day, when my boss is in need of a server, I will be thrilled to fill the position!" I dreamed of the day I would poor coffee, take orders, earn tips, and talk to the customers about more than, "How was your food and service today?"

Such a simplistic dream. But one that I fantasized about for hours at that hostess podium. To the ones who were waitressing tables at the time, it was just a way to pay the bills - and an exhausting way at that!

But finally, I was trained to take a spot as a server, and I've loved it ever since. That's not to say there haven't been hard days at it, but I think God's plan in letting me desire it for so long a time was purposed for me to appreciate it all the more once the job was finally mine.

Or, here's another example.... Ever since I was a little girl of eleven years old, it had been my dream of going to Africa. I heard the Applegates speak in church about all their experiences and encounters as missionaries in the wild country of Uganda, and as their pictures flashed across the slideshow I thought, "God, one day I want to go there! Take me there, so that I may see the rolling hills, breath the misty air of the African morning, and look tenderly into those expressive baby-black eyes." And lo and behold, when I came to FBBC, they were offering a mission trip all the way to South Africa! I prayed and dreamed, applied to go, and struggled over where the money for a plane ticket was going to come from. But God is good and He worked in the most surprising of ways to provide every penny. Before I knew it, 3 precious weeks in Africa had flown by and left an imprint on my heart that will not soon be forgotten. 

Through this time I learned God is the giver of dreams and the fulfiller of them.

And then there's that intense dream and desire God has given me of being a teacher... No job in the world appeals more! I do not know where, and I do not even know for how long, but I do know that the love of my life right now is the idea of shepherding a classroom for a year while God shapes and molds the children He has entrusted me with. (Matthew 5:19 "... but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.") This is the spring semester of my sophmore year in studying to teach, and it barely feels like work at all! I go to class each day with the anticipation of learning something new to add to my "toolbelt" as God prepares me for this calling that He has placed upon my heart.

Sometimes I feel so small and insignificant in "Teacherland", as I am just one person amidst the however many thousands of people who claim this job as their own. 

Is it considered a small dream of mine if so many others already have it? I thought to Dream Big was to do something Extraordinary, something Exceptional! But then I realize, that it doesn't have to be the most unique thing that's ever been done. If it's unique to my life, that'll be enough. Even if it's the most mundane and common man's work to be done, my God has granted me the desire for a reason. What I need to do is to stop comparing how well I do it to the standards of everybody else, and simply focus on being the best "Janell" that God has made me to be. That's all that God requires of me. He doesn't ask me to be "Bob" or "Suzy" or "Mother Theresa." I am NOT those people. He has entrusted me with dreams and desires because He wants to use them in my life and to work through me. If I carry out even the smallest task, but do it heartily as to the God that called me to do it, then He will be glorified.

And my dreams will have meaning. 

For even the littlest of dreams is of value.... when it makes on impression on all of eternity.

(Note: my next "big dream" for my life, that so many people have done and probably take as a given for it to be their summer plans: is to work as a counselor at a Christian camp! I am eagerly praying for this desire to become a reality, as there are so many open doors for this. I know there wouldn't be cause for regret, and I would be seriously stretched from those few short weeks of total challenge and "Fun-ness"! What exciting opportunities might the future hold!? :-)